Feels like it’s time to move on

It seems the wheels of change are in motion…I did not consciously decide this, it was just a feeling thats crept up on me almost as quietly as August  issued it’s first autumnal whispers …(already)

I’ve now been working flat for a rather famous concern since about February when I was informed by the College of Occupational therapists…..    

……I am now one of them             

Closely followed by this…… in May

Now it is August I have had lots of time not doing essays, not being chained to a deadline and to earn some money.

I’ve had work with no responsibilty, well at least that I could hand over at the end of the day. I’ve worked with old colleagues and met up with friends, been able to spend far too long on social networking sites and have very very many very very late nights.

I’ve been able almost to work whatever shift pattern I like and pretty much have had a delirious, carefree time albeit working like a dawg simultaneously.

This week I suddenly went into a sort of melt down and into the world of circadian-rhythms- gone wrong. I’ve been feeling really flat, like..depressed almost?? I couldn’t work it out. I thought I was ailing or something, palpitations were occuring and I was caught in some kind of mid-flight panic about staying awake and keeping going or surrendering to a sleep coma.

In the end it turned out to be several long and short sleeps taken as required over a few days I took off work.  I just simply knew I couldn’t do it and had to stay away so I took three days off-doesn’t seem much, but enough to give me time to recover from this really numb, unfeeling, flat feeling.

I realise that beyond the summer and my impending trip to Canada
I have no more carefree plans, it will be Autumn when I return, which will rapidly descent into winter (and if it’s anything like last winter it will be a challenge even for a snow pixie like me)

It seems like time to roll out the next phase. Practice as an Occupational Therapist for real. Get out my books, revisit things and apply for some jobs / join up to that whole-big-thing-careerjob-doodah.

I’m going to start, however by attending a voluntary service overseas event, never one to settle for anything easy…

I could end up issuing toilet seats yet, but it won’t be for want of trying to do something exotic and if it comes to that I will do it in style. Of course. I will be esteemed for my toilet seat fitting finesse.

Before all this I want to evaluate all the lovely things I have experienced in my few months of freedom with an alphabet list so here goes: ( this may be slow to materialise as I have to reflect somewhat)

A

B

Chloe lovechuck

Downderry Lavender Farm

E

Facebook

Garden Days

H

I

Jack Garden Boy

K

Lounge on the Farm

Memories of  my Mentor, Mother-figure ….Missing… but remembering you in everything I do, wishing you were still here and still stopping breathing when remembering you are not here

N

Oneself

Pals

Q

R

Seeker’s Trust

T

U

V

W

X

Y

Z

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I’ve always wanted to be a gypsy

Hello!! I’m rather hoping I might get some very patient new blog friends eventually. I must explain, this is a totally new system to me and I am struggling to work it, despite being three years at university, most of them chained to a computer.

Still, tonight I have finally mastered how to put a button on my computer. I started off trying desperately to master html code and finally realised it was much easier than that and I could just upload an image to my media area. Oh boy, I have so much to learn. all this when all I want is to be a gypsy. I hope you enjoy this post and will say  ”I love 7 gypsies”

I’ll tell you one other secret thing. I’m going to Canada!!!!

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I grew these

Hello! I’m back. endeavouring to be a new improved blogger and failing somewhat. But I did grow these. I have always wanted to grow raspberries. Now my canes look naked but I just had to show you,

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Summer Solstice

It’s always seemed important to mark the Summer solstice, The hippy in me needs attention at this time.

Trouble is, this time I’m feeling particularly drained and out of energy.

My idea of the Solstice is to reflect on the fact that nearly a half year has passed already and what have I done actually. More’s to the point, where am I going?

But this last weekend has clean washed me out. I was working all weekend, granted, but events at the hospital where I work were unbelievable and almost insurmountable. Some ‘executive’ decisions were taken on Friday afternoon leaving us with double the number of patients and half the number of staff.

The anger was explosive too.

This last couple of weeks has been so unjust, for all sorts of people. I just keep thinking it has to be to do with some planetary activity surely.

On this note the little piece of wisdom I can muster is this:

”This too shall pass”

Ancient proverb-author unknown

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Hello world!

Hello,

I’ve started this blog because I’ve just finished a degree. I wrote a blog during the student years and now seems like a good time to forge a new direction. Actually my student blog became anything but about being a student really, but was about all sorts of ways I chose to express myself and cope with what was a kind of powerful vortex I found myself in.

Although I now have the wonderful sense of completion and understanding of what the vortex was all about, I also have the challenge of working out what in heaven’s name I should do.

Additionally I have some other dreams and ambitions yet to manifest. Two of those are, I want to own a craft business, making and selling my own and maybe other people’s things and, secondly, I really, really, really want to own and be around horses. Ideally I’d like to be her the amazing Pioneer Woman who is a massive inspiration to me right now.

So this blog will be about all those things and will include projects and anecdotes, however small and amateurish, that lead me toward fulfilling these. Along the way, yes of course I will have to work using my recent, hard-earned degree (after all I did nash my teeth for the 3.5 years it took) and I will need to lean heavily upon the wisdom of others to do so, which I will also share.

I hope you will find some comfort in those also. Well, to start off here is one I feel is particularly relevant right now.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Marianne Wilson

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